The Reality of Instant Connection

How about cracking the code?

Is it too much?

I believe so.

What I’m talking about is how we communicate technology wise. I mean don’t get me wrong I appreciate how far technology has come and making communication easier. But too much texting can really affect relationships, platonic and romantic.

I recall talking to a girl-friend of mine not too long ago and realizing that I haven’t heard her voice in over 2 months.

Literally.

I’ve never really given any thought because texting just became part of the routine just like blinking.

See we both don’t live in the same vicinity so its hard at times to get together in person and catch up. So I decided to give her a courtesy call and for a moment I felt like I was talking to a different person. Her voice changed. Her overall demeanor seemed different, more mature. Of course I mentioned it to her and we both simultaneously agreed that it has been too long and we should make an effort to call more.

Having a relationship can be as difficult when both parties are not willing to put the work in, as in a phone call. Nowadays it seems as though a call is a privilege and a hot commodity.

Also when you first meet someone things can be tricky. If I’m being asked out on a date through a text than I will be the one to call to either discuss why I couldn’t receive a call and my response towards the date plan.

Maybe you would consider this a rant of sorts but I’m just putting it out there. All this facebook, twitter, instant messaging and texting can be quite draining at times. We need to stop the madness.

What do you think about the technological frenzy happening? Is it too much?

~ SincerelyXo

Tags: Technology, Texting

The Territorial Dater

 

Please don't go! It was only our 2nd date...

Leah: “I’ve never been on such an amazing date with such a handsome specimen of a man in my life!”

Brandy: “I guess the date went well, huh?”

Leah: “Better than well. We chatted about the usual stuff. He’s still dating and figuring out his options and of course I’m gonna do the same.”

Brandy: “Yeah, definitely.”

2 weeks later…

Leah: “Its OVER!”

Brandy: “What, when did it begin?”

Leah: “Yeah, handsome specimen of a man?!” He’s a damn liar. Talking about how he’s gonna hang out with the fellas but I know he’s gonna be with some girl because I put my investigative skills to good use and found out his dirt.”

Brandy: “Didn’t you both state and agreed to still date and talk to other people.”

Leah: “But he’s talking to ME!”

Brandy: *stares blankly*

Yes, I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous but it occurs more often than you think. I will say some, not all women (heck, and men too!), are like this or possess traits of the territorial class. It is human nature to be competitive and to protect what is our own, or supposed at that. But as in the above scenario no commitment was ever stated.

Nowhere.

Ever!

So what makes someone psychologically claim what was never theirs in the first place? I’ll offer up what I think may be the case.

Eldest Child Syndrome

In pops in the sense of entitlement. Not all kids grew up spoiled rotten but some may have gotten whatever they wanted, when they wanted it. So its safe to say that that state of mind may have traveled into their adulthood. Even though it was not stated that you two were together or that no more dating on either part, your mind believes otherwise.

Plain Ol’ Jealousy

There is no beating around this one. Both parties of the opposite sex have jealous tendencies. Period. But we’re talking about women here so we’ll keep it simple. Some women (note the word “some”) have this thing where they connect with someone whether it be physical, mental, emotional, they take it to heart and for some reason it manifests itself into clinginess. The guy does not have to be ours or declare any type of relationship but for those few women, they dont care! The guy is theirs and all other women need to back off.

She’s just crazy

There might not be any other way to put it. No need to further try and explan her unexpected behavior. Something is just not right up there and you (the men) may need to cut off all communication and run!

Just kidding…sorta.

Has anyone ever been in a situation as the one above? What would you add to this list?

~ SincerelyXo

Tags: Clingy, Dating, Relationships, Territorial

Chivalry is dead, has been revived and died again…

Can someone help me locate my knight in shining armor?

Once upon a time chivalry was what got the girl. Showing a woman how much of a gentleman you were and how much you respected her earned you the right to marry her. In her eyes you were her knight in shining armor.  

Fast forward some years to this new day and age where chivalry is considered no longer with us. Why? Is it because the roles of the past have changed? Sure, nowadays women are able to run Fortune 500 companies with grace. Women are independent far more than they were back then. Some women have that notion of  ”I can do it myself, I don’t need a man”. 

True. 

But of course you can’t expect for someone to be chivalrous towards you if you do not know how to receive it. Now bear with me on this.  

Chivalry is dead. Why? Because women killed it.  

Now I can’t argue too much against that but to say we are the solely responsible for it is a little overrated. Both men and women are. We, as in women, live in a reigning pro feminist world in which we have more opportunities than just being a home maker. We are constantly faced everyday to be independent and bring our “A” game in this male dominated society. We forget either what its like to be treated with a chivalrous nod or maybe the men that we’ve come into contact with have not received the proper how-to on chivalry.  

Now, what about the men who forgot the art of correct approach?  

Meaning how to act, how to engage, how to strike up a clever conversation. You see women are not just the ones at fault, men are too. Of course may not know any better. They grew up with a different mentalities on courting and date-manship. And besides with people marrying later in life this may take longer than expected to learn.  

My idea of chivalrous behavior shows that you have some type of respect for me and this arrangement that we are currently involved in. It shows me that you’re putting effort in and allowing your best foot forward. But women still tend to ask, “Where are all the chivalrous gentlemen?”  

I can understand how that expected mentality of women can confuse you men out there. This woman claims the ability to pull out her own chair to then expect for you to act it out for her. 

Yes men, maybe your attempts at being “nice and respectful” can be met by a quick spat and we end up doing things ourselfs. Women can be difficult that way. But it’s not our fault. It’s the day and age we grew up in. So excuse some women for not appreciating your chivalrous behavior. But we see you guys have a hard time too so the score is even.  

But aside from all of that, women still want  doors to be opened for them, their chairs to be pulled out and all the perks that come along with it.  

I have devised a short list of some simple things that men either are doing or should do, and that women could and should appreciate.  

Walk the side of her facing the street  

I will admit that on several occasions I have had men walk on the outside to protect me. They may not have put much thought into it because its something they believe they should do. More power to you. This simple gesture really tells me that I am more than just a moving body. If anything were to happen you’ll be the first to take the impact. What a gentleman. 

Pull out her chair  

It could be anywhere. In a restaurant or at home. It’s just plain sweet. Especially when you’re at a nice restaurant it shows the other men how you treat your significant-potential other and it looks good on you. Aren’t men egotistical in some form? Maybe some are not not. But if you are then this is right up your alley.  

Pick her up at her door  

I have yet to be picked up at my doorstep to go on a date. Sad but true. I guess living in a big city and having transportation easily accessible can do that to you. But in all seriousness, suggest picking her up. A little can go a long way.  

Call, not text your date plans  

Are we seriously that scared of actual conversation that lacking the desire to call and make plans is foreshadowed by texting. This method of planning is played out and tacky. I received a text suggesting a date plan and I quickly declined. Of course he asked why. I told him to give me a call. 

What are your thoughts on chivalry? Is it still dead? Do you believe that women are responsible for the death of chivalry? what can both men and women do to bring chivalrous behavior back to the fore front? 

Do share.  

~ SincerelyXo

Tags: Chivalry, Dating, Feminism, Relationships